Most days, we focus on the gray clouds. We walk around waiting for the rain.
We forget something important: behind every cloud, the sun is shining. Every single minute of every single day.
Here are 17 simple rules to help you shift your focus and find the happiness that is already waiting for you.
Rule 1: Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Feeling sorry for yourself keeps you stuck. It pulls you into a victim mindset where things happen to you but you cannot do anything about them.
When you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you free up energy to actually do something.
"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world." -- Helen Keller
Rule 2: Be Grateful
You have things in your life right now worth being grateful for. Your family. Your health. Your home. Your mind. Your friendships.
When you count these things every day, your whole outlook starts to change.
"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." -- Meister Eckhardt
Rule 3: Say Yes More
We resist life instead of going with it. We say no to things out of fear or habit.
Try saying yes more. Go with the flow. Often things turn out better than you expected.
"I will say yes to every favor, request, suggestion and invitation." -- Danny Wallace
Rule 4: Follow Your Bliss
Your bliss is what you are doing when you forget to look at the clock. When you are so into it that it stops feeling like work.
Find that thing. Do more of it.
"When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors." -- Joseph Campbell
Rule 5: Learn to Let Go
Letting go does not mean you are okay with what happened. It means you are releasing the negative feeling inside of you.
Holding onto anger hurts you, not the person you are angry at.
"By letting it go it all gets done." -- Lao Tzu
Rule 6: Do Random Acts of Kindness
The more you give, the more you receive. A random act of kindness is a small thing you do for someone with no reason and no expectation.
Try one today. Notice how it makes you feel.
"If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- Dalai Lama
Rule 7: Happiness Is Only Ever Now
Stop waiting to be happy later. The past is gone. The future is not here yet.
This moment, right now, is the only place where you can actually do anything.
"Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone." -- Louis L'Amour
Rule 8: Experience, Don't Hoard
Experiences make you happier than things do. You do not need to spend a lot of money. You just need to actually live.
"When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do." -- Walt Disney
Rule 9: Appreciate Both Sides
To truly feel happiness, you have to experience sadness too. That is not bad news. That is just how life works.
Both sides are real. Both sides matter.
"It's all good." -- David Brent
Rule 10: Be More Social
Study after study shows the same thing: happy people have strong social connections.
Do not wait for interesting people to find you. Go out and find them.
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy." -- Marcel Proust
Rule 11: Love More
Here is the secret: you feel the most happiness when you are the one doing the loving.
The more love you give, the happier you become. And the great news is that you are in full control of how much love you give.
"Love and kindness are never wasted." -- Barbara De Angelis
Rule 12: Have a Dream
Dreams light up your life. Without them, everything gets flat and gray.
Take an hour this week. Get out some paper. Write down what you really dream about. Make sure the spark is lit.
"A person starts dying when they stop dreaming." -- Brian Williams
Rule 13: Intention Sets Direction
Decide how things are going to go before they happen. Set your intention clearly each morning.
You are far more likely to have a great day when you decide to.
"Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." -- Henry Ford
Rule 14: Enjoy Simple Pleasures
Simple pleasures are everywhere. A good cup of coffee. A walk outside. A song that hits just right.
Learn to notice them. Better yet, build small rituals around them.
"Simplicity is the essence of happiness." -- Cedric Bledsoe
Rule 15: Accept What Is
Accepting something does not mean you agree with it. It means you stop fighting reality.
When you accept what is, your mind gets clearer. You can actually do something about it.
"Happiness is a function of accepting what is." -- Werner Erhard
Rule 16: Zoom Out and Don't Sweat
When something feels huge and awful, zoom out. Look at your whole life. Ask yourself: will this matter in five years?
Usually it will not.
"If you do not raise your eyes, you will think that you are the highest point." -- Antonio Porchia
Rule 17: Laugh, Dance, Smile
Life is shorter than it feels. Surround yourself with things that make you laugh. Dance when nobody is watching. Smile at strangers.
Happiness that lives inside you will show up on your face.
"A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile." -- Unknown
These seventeen rules will not solve every problem in your life. But they will shift the way you look at things. And sometimes, a shift in perspective is all you need.
Which rule do you want to try first?